10 ways to know, He’s not that into you, anymore!


Okay. so no bull shitting in this post. I’m just going to give you the 10 tell all, straight facts that I, personally feel should be a clear sign that, he’s not that into you. There is no particular order, although this is purely based on what hits the quickest.

10.  There is never no time:

Okay so, you want to meet over the weekend, but oh gosh, there’s a family dinner. Or some friends party. Friends who didn’t invite you or your guy never introduced you to. How he hates to go, but really how about making some time during the week? Can’t talk on the phone during work hours, too much to work on. After work, traveling back home. At home, dinner, shower, his favorite movie, some cousins phone call, family emergency, I can go on. trust me. you might get some five to ten minutes every night though.

9.  Petty Arguments:

That turn into fights and one hangs up. Arguments that begin with your faults and end up with him being a victim. Rest is all cacophony.

8. Communication:

Did I cover it already? Again, there is one due to no time and one because there is never anything to talk about. Because he doesn’t have a story and yours isn’t that great.

7. Lack of excitement:

These are the things, we give a pass. because we are understanding or we want to try hard at looking at things the other way. Yes, it is a sign and it shouldn’t surprise you. If you don’t see him excited upon meeting you, chance encounter or whatever; you don’t hear him cry out loud in happiness, okay a little exaggerated, all is not good. Now, I know some of you might not agree, but to each his/her own. I totally look for this and appreciating your efforts by way of compliments are a sure sign to show, he still cares.

6. Surprises:

There are none. Okay, may be a few. Visits, phone calls, flowers, gifts, whatever is your definition of surprises, not happening, then please know it’s not happening. We all always talk about how spice is important and all that jazz. To know, what would make one happy is usually more than enough. Like, if men knew, cheating on women is not acceptable, I wouldn’t be talking about surprises here. That includes flirting with your colleague and solo party hopping.

5. Sex, making love, whatever it is that you label it:

physical contact in weeks due to any of the above reasons or being too tired or lack of an opportunity to sneak out. It’s all bull crap. Some one who couldn’t keep his hands off you suddenly postpones these appointments, hello? may be time to think, it’s probably just you deprived of action. Some men don’t do it, because they don’t want you to think that it’s all happy and forever again and so they take their time before they finalize whatever they intend to do with you in future.

4. Talking:

Forget the dirty talking, now he is not talking only to you, properly. whatever that means. From soft to loud and ugly. I mean finding flaws is one, but disrespecting, cutting into a conversation, asking you to end it (come to the climax of your story) sooner. It is all a sign. Someone who said, he loved long walks on the beach and talking for hours on the phone with you, common it is definitely a sign. I have known men, who, howsoever busy they are, wouldn’t sleep before listening to their partners tell them about their day. If you are one of those, “It was great”, story tellers, good for you.

3. Bro’s before hoe’s:

So now, the time with their guy gang is a priority over every meeting of yours. Suddenly, one of the guys always has a problem and he must be there. Time to take your cue.

2. Behavior in public or around friends:

There is not much to say here, chances are if he’s really not into you, you’ll never meet his friends and public outing will mostly end up in arguments over trivial issues.

1. Sharing is caring:

Not being vocal about his feelings is one thing, not sharing things that are happening in his life, is a big big hit. If you don’t know, that he is switching a job or he is about to attend his closest friends engagement or well, who his close pals are, you really don’t know anything about him. Ever heard of,  a man is known by the company he keeps, exactly! You don’t know the company (Friends, career, whatever), you don’t know him. period

0. Social Networking:

Now I added that 0 because I know it never gets over at 10. Continues.. Some couples like to keep that much space, crazies or what! but yes, these are in this age and time important part of our lives, a major one, if I may add. And if that’s your idea of space, I don’t even know what commitment were we talking about. I mean, I’d understand for someone who barely logs in, but someone who’s constantly checking twitter feeds on his Blackberry, I phone, who are we kidding buddy! get that app off, would you?

Towards the end, you will realize that they all are in some way interconnected and that even if we make an effort to work harder to eliminate even one of these signs, it might just work.

If you really think, there is no scope, please go ahead, take her out to her happy place and make her see what you see. I believe if someone has really promised you their love, they will understand your difficulty in giving theirs.

Loving someone is not an easy feeling to share. It is an emotion that only a few experience in its truest form. Don’t let it slip away, because we humans act like we are incapable of loving.

Time for some Paulo Coehlo Quotes here:

“When you really want something, all the universe conspires in helping you achieve it”

I think that when we look for love courageously, it reveals itself, and we wind up attracting even more love. If one person really wants us, everyone does. But if we’re alone, we become even more alone. Life is strange.

Waiting is painful. Forgetting is painful. But not knowing which to do is the worse kind of suffering.

p.s. I am writing from the point of view of a woman, because I am one, but I can guarantee men that these are exactly few things that us girls do too. Although only after, we tell you that it’s not working out and men don’t understand why!

Please feel free to add some. More the better, we could do a poll too! 

Collective data can really get you out of the mess quicker.

9 thoughts on “10 ways to know, He’s not that into you, anymore!

  1. I really needed to read this…I am really going through something …….I need to know if I will move forward with him or move on…

    • I’m sorry to hear that, I’m sure it’s painful and confusing and hurts you in so many ways, but believe me this shall pass too. You need to analyse the reasons why you feel what you feel and then understand what may have been the problem. Whether you’re willing to correct the wrongs for both of you or you’re going to be you. Do what you think is in your best interest and remember you deserve the best. Always know, that you’re special and you should to be treated that way. Lotsa love :)

  2. I needed this. I’ve been so conflicted but now I know what to do. Its going to be more painful but I know this too shall pass. Thanks so much for this very forthright article, its very enlightening! :)

  3. This was our song… Can you still see the lights can you hear the hum?

    Going through a tough, tough break up.

    • Hi there,

      I did too. And I really don’t want to give you the impression that I know what you’re going through, ’cause I don’t. Nobody does, I can tell you from what I’ve been through in the last two years of parting from him is, you’ll either meet someone amazing who’d fill the void and be everything you wished for or you’ll make some horrible mistakes and still be wondering what really went wrong. So take it easy on yourself, give this time and then spare some for things you’ve always wanted to do, but never had the time for.

      Much Love

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